Shots hurt...even when you aren't the one getting them

Wednesday was Jack’s one month doctor’s appointment. He got a great checkup and lots of praise from our awesome pediatrician, Dr. Chastain. I absolutely love our pediatrician. I mean, almost as much as I love Kerianne at my OB. Anyone who really knows me knows that is a lot! Our baby weighs 9 lbs, 13oz and is 22 inches long. That is the 50^th percentile, which means he is an average baby – not overly big or small. He is already doing 2 month reflexes, which impressed Dr. Chastain. She said he was very alert and overall, she was very happy with his growth and development. Obviously, this made us very happy parents.

He did get a shot, which was more painful for me than him! All day, I thought I was going to cry, but when we got the appointment, I was totally fine. I thought I would be okay. But when he actually got the shot, and I saw his little face get bright red, I lost it. He only cried for a millisecond and then went right back to sleep, but it totally broke my heart. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to see him in pain. I know it was over quickly, but it still hurt – for both of us.

There's a reason they make the "Baby on Board" signs for your car...

I did some silly things when I was pregnant. See the blog posting from March. It’s called Baby Brain and I thought it would go away after Jackson was born. Well, guess what people – it doesn’t! In fact, it becomes something much more interesting: Mommy Brain! Mommy Brain is a combination of Baby Brain + Sleep Deprivation, which is just so much fun! Here’s a couple of the great things I have done with my newfound Mommy Brain:

1. I took a shower with my underwear on…the best part is that I knew something wasn’t right in the shower, but it actually took me about two minutes to realize what it was.

2. I wash a used disposable diaper. I had just changed Jack’s diaper first thing in the morning after Chris had left and I was getting up a load of Jack’s laundry. I remember picking up the diaper and thinking “I need to throw this away” but somehow it ended up in the washer. Luckily, it was a pee pee diaper and it showed me just how much Pampers can hold!

3. So, the other night, we had been out running errands and I was driving. It got too late for us to cook dinner (like 9PM), so we went to Chick-fil-a. Well, I’m sitting in line and I’m turning the lights on the car on and off because it just looks really dark outside. Chris says, “What are you doing?” I said, “I think there’s something wrong with the lights. I think they must be out because it’s so dark outside!” Chris then says, “Hey genius. You’ve still got your sunglasses on.”

The good news is that Mommy Brain doesn’t seem to cause you to do anything that would harm the baby. It’s just silly, stupid things that make for fun conversation! :)

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

I have to say that we are pretty lucky when it comes to Baby Jack. He’s a good baby. Yes, he has his fussy times, but what baby doesn’t? Overall, he’s a good sleeper, eater, and pooper. You can’t beat that! But it IS hard getting used to new schedule of every three hours, which, of course, includes midnight, 3AM and 6AM – times that I am not used to at all. I’m trying to sleep as much as possible during the day (when he sleeps), but that’s not always easy.

If I had to give one piece of advice to any parent-to-be, it would have to be sleep all you can now because it definitely is a thing of past and a luxury. The funny thing is I really can’t remember what day-to-day life was like without Jackson, but the one thing I can remember is sleep!

All By Myself

Today is my first day going solo. Chris went back to work today, so it’s just me and Jack. Chris has been such an amazing help the last three weeks that I was nervous about today, but so far, so good! Right now, Jackson is snoozing away in his pack and play, which normally would mean I would be napping, but right now is Riley and Bella time. The poor puppies have been getting the cold shoulder since Baby Jack’s arrival. The fact that Jack is in the pack and play is kind of a big deal for me. I've been a little, shall we say, hovering around him. I thought I'd be a badass and this kid would be sleeping in his crib within a week or two. Yeah, no. He sleeps at night in the bassinet which is literally right next to our bed. During the day, he's been on his boppy or giraffe mat so I could see him and keep him close. But today, I put him in the pack and play so I could let the dogs out for a bit. I am pretty proud of myself right now! I am hoping to get into a better schedule, which would include time for the dogs and regular naps so that I can plan out my day a little better. I never realized how much work one little person can be! It seems there is always something for him – a diaper to be changed, or he’s hungry, or there’s laundry to be done (his, not mine) – and then there’s the normal house stuff – playing with the dogs, dishes, laundry. And here I am playing on the computer. Oh well – everyone needs a break every now and then!

Baby Love

Jackson Wesley

May 11, 2010

12:09AM

7lbs, 4oz

19 1/2 inches

I had baby! I had a perfect, wonderful, amazing little baby boy who has stolen my heart and change my life forever. Here’s what happened:

My water broke at around 9:15 on Mother’s Day night and contractions starting about 10 that evening. My doctor was not on call at Northside Forsyth, so we were instructed to go to Northside Atlanta, which we did. We checked in a little after 10:30 and after being checked, my doctor told us that my water had broken “prematurely” – this means that normally women have contractions and THEN their water breaks, and mine was opposite, so it was going to be a long night!

I received my epidural and things were moving along slowly, but surely. I also received pitocin to help speed things up. About 4PM on Monday, I had five very strong contractions in a row (which I didn’t know because of the epidural). Jackson couldn’t take it and his heart rate dropped dramatically. Immediately the doctors and nurses went into action. They were prepared to perform an emergency c-section, but luckily, they were able to get his heart rate back up quickly.

About 10PM (about 24 hours into labor!!!), I was finally dilated to 10cm and we were ready to push! I pushed for just over an hour, but something wasn’t right. He would start to come out, but then get pulled back into. Finally, my doctor said that Jack just wasn’t going to come out this way and recommended a c-section.

I was sent to the OR about 15 minutes later for the c-section. Chris was able to be there with me. Needless to say, I was scared. It took about 10 minutes to get Jackson out (12:09AM, to be exact), but I immediately noticed he wasn’t crying. Chris went back to the table in the OR with him. It took a minute or two, but I finally heard him crying and it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard!

The nurse showed me Jack very quickly and I was informed that Chris and Jack were going to the nursery. I knew something wasn’t quite right, but seeing his beautiful face and hearing his cry, I knew he would be okay. I was sent to recovery and about 20 minutes later, Chris came down. He told me we had a healthy baby boy weighing 7lbs, 4oz! Because I was so tired (it was close to 1:30AM now) and pretty drugged up, I sent Chris back to the nursery to be with Jack. About 2:30, I was released from recovery and wheeled up to my room, where Chris and Jack’s Godfather Jeremy were waiting. But one person was missing – Jackson.

Chris and Jeremy informed me that Jack was in the transition nursery (also known as NICU) – where newborns would were born with issues go for observation. Jackson’s cord was around his neck when he was delivery and he need oxygen when he came out. Now, some newborns are born with the cords around their necks with no problems vaginally, but it turns out, this is why when I was pushing, Jackson would start to come out and then just sucked back in. The cord was wrapped so tightly around his neck that it was pulling him back inside. When he was delivered via c-section, he was blue, but PRAISE GOD they were able to provide him oxygen and within a minute, he was absolutely perfect! They took him to the transition nursery for observation for six hours. The neo-natal doctor observed him and concluded that he was completely and totally healthy and there would be no problems from the lack of oxygen!! Follow ups with the pediatrician have told us the same thing!

Chris and I finally got to have him about 6AM Tuesday morning. It was so amazing to have our little bundle of joy finally with us and, after this experience, we truly feel blessed to have him in our lives! He is amazing and beautiful and perfect. He has a very healthy set of lungs that he enjoys showing off at every diaper change!

Oh, and Chris and I are fine, too – the labor and pushing, while it didn’t really hurt (thank the Lord for the epidural), took a lot of out me, but emotionally, both Chris and I were just exhausted. Poor Chris has taken the worst of it. He was absolutely amazing taking care of me during labor and he is a pro at the Daddy thing.

We stayed at Northside until Friday evening. They released us in the middle of Friday night rush hour, which we weren’t too thrilled about. Unfortunately, though, when they tell you it’s time to go, you have to go. Needless to say, it was the scariest car ride we have ever taken!

The first week home was a whirlwind and we truly appreciate all the cards, letters, emails, texts and dinners! We are adjusting to our new lives as parents and Jack is a great baby! He’s definitely an eater – already back up to his birth weight and he loves his newborn lounger and his swing. The sleep schedule is the hardest to get used to, especially since Jack loves to stay awake after his 3AM and 6AM feedings, but will sleep after his other feedings.

Having Jack has been hands down the most amazing experience of my life. Even when he cries, it is the most beautiful sound. As Chris said, because there was a moment when he was born that we were worried that he wouldn’t ever cry, hearing his voice just reminds us how truly blessed we are.

Bye Bye Work!

Today is my last day at work until the end of July! I really can’t believe it. I mean, I know it’s not a vacation or anything like that, but I have had a job of some sorts since I was 14 years old. I babysat in the summer or worked at the movie theatre or at my mom’s office all through high school and college until I graduated and got my own job. The longest I’ve been off work was for two weeks between my brief stint at that horrible company AppVault and FCS. And even then, I was preparing for my job at FCS. It’s completely foreign to me to turn off work for almost 3 months. At TMP, you were never really away from work because you were always thinking about the next project or ad that needed to be placed. I got into a really horrible habit of checking my work email and voicemail from home and responding to them on nights, weekends, and holidays, something I do now at FCS (even though I do it a lot less). Work is just work. It took me a long time to realize that, luckily, no job I’ve ever had is life and death. No one was going to die if an ad didn’t get placed. The world isn’t going to end if an applicant has problems submitting their documents. But still, it’s important to me to get things done and done well because I do try to be good at what I do and I genuinely want people to be happy and have a good experience with my company.

But for the next 10 weeks, it’s time to unplug.

Because this about Jack, Chris and me. This is about creating our family and building a life together. It’s about giggles and laughter and bottles and diapers and midnight feedings and no sleep and amazement and new discoveries. It’s a time for friends and family to come together and celebrate. I am still amazed about the whole process of pregnancy and the end result. I cannot believe the amount of love and joy I feel for this little person that, just a few short months ago, was just a thought. And for the next 10 weeks, I plan to do nothing but spend every minute learning about him.

So, peace out work! I am sure FCS will survive without me for a few months. And if not and the walls come crumbling down while I’m gone, I’m definitely asking for a raise when I get back!

It's the last...

This is it. The last week. Today is the last Tuesday that I won’t have a son. Sometime next Tuesday, Jack will be here. Of course, it could happen before that, but I highly doubt it. I think I’ll make it to the 11th no problem. Actually, I’ll make it to the 10th and go into the hospital that night and they’ll start the induction process.

I’m having issues with the whole “last” thing. Last weekend was the last weekend that Chris and I have all to ourselves (since my mom’s coming into town on Saturday). That was incredibly hard. I can’t really explain the emotions other than simply putting it like this: Chris and I have been together for 13 years. It’s always been me and him. If I didn’t love Chris with all my heart and soul, and know that he loves me, I would never have had thought about having a child with him. It doesn’t matter how excited and thrilled I am about Jack – it’s extremely difficult for me to thinking about the dynamic of our relationship changing, even if in my heart I know it’s a change for the absolute best. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a bad person or a bad mom.

ANYWAY – the last few days are going to be busy. The nursery is done! Well, I still have to hang pictures on the wall, but that’s it! We have a diaper bag (Skip Hop Dash Deluxe in Cherry Bloom, in case you were wondering), but still no glider for the nursery. (I guess I shouldn’t have said it was “done”…) We moved my big Crate&Barrel chair from the living room into the nursery, so that will work for now. I have two more doctor’s appointments – one with Dr. Korotkin on Friday and one with Dr. Nezhat on Monday. Friday is my last day at work until the middle of July. Monday night, I will be admitted to Northside Forsyth sometime after 6PM. And then, it’s just when Mr. Baby Jackson Man (Anne Marie’s nickname for him) wants to make his grand appearance.

It’s crazy to think that this time next week, I could be holding my baby. Or I could still be waiting. Or I could be in the middle of labor, screaming my head off.