Bye Bye Work!

Today is my last day at work until the end of July! I really can’t believe it. I mean, I know it’s not a vacation or anything like that, but I have had a job of some sorts since I was 14 years old. I babysat in the summer or worked at the movie theatre or at my mom’s office all through high school and college until I graduated and got my own job. The longest I’ve been off work was for two weeks between my brief stint at that horrible company AppVault and FCS. And even then, I was preparing for my job at FCS. It’s completely foreign to me to turn off work for almost 3 months. At TMP, you were never really away from work because you were always thinking about the next project or ad that needed to be placed. I got into a really horrible habit of checking my work email and voicemail from home and responding to them on nights, weekends, and holidays, something I do now at FCS (even though I do it a lot less). Work is just work. It took me a long time to realize that, luckily, no job I’ve ever had is life and death. No one was going to die if an ad didn’t get placed. The world isn’t going to end if an applicant has problems submitting their documents. But still, it’s important to me to get things done and done well because I do try to be good at what I do and I genuinely want people to be happy and have a good experience with my company.

But for the next 10 weeks, it’s time to unplug.

Because this about Jack, Chris and me. This is about creating our family and building a life together. It’s about giggles and laughter and bottles and diapers and midnight feedings and no sleep and amazement and new discoveries. It’s a time for friends and family to come together and celebrate. I am still amazed about the whole process of pregnancy and the end result. I cannot believe the amount of love and joy I feel for this little person that, just a few short months ago, was just a thought. And for the next 10 weeks, I plan to do nothing but spend every minute learning about him.

So, peace out work! I am sure FCS will survive without me for a few months. And if not and the walls come crumbling down while I’m gone, I’m definitely asking for a raise when I get back!

It's the last...

This is it. The last week. Today is the last Tuesday that I won’t have a son. Sometime next Tuesday, Jack will be here. Of course, it could happen before that, but I highly doubt it. I think I’ll make it to the 11th no problem. Actually, I’ll make it to the 10th and go into the hospital that night and they’ll start the induction process.

I’m having issues with the whole “last” thing. Last weekend was the last weekend that Chris and I have all to ourselves (since my mom’s coming into town on Saturday). That was incredibly hard. I can’t really explain the emotions other than simply putting it like this: Chris and I have been together for 13 years. It’s always been me and him. If I didn’t love Chris with all my heart and soul, and know that he loves me, I would never have had thought about having a child with him. It doesn’t matter how excited and thrilled I am about Jack – it’s extremely difficult for me to thinking about the dynamic of our relationship changing, even if in my heart I know it’s a change for the absolute best. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a bad person or a bad mom.

ANYWAY – the last few days are going to be busy. The nursery is done! Well, I still have to hang pictures on the wall, but that’s it! We have a diaper bag (Skip Hop Dash Deluxe in Cherry Bloom, in case you were wondering), but still no glider for the nursery. (I guess I shouldn’t have said it was “done”…) We moved my big Crate&Barrel chair from the living room into the nursery, so that will work for now. I have two more doctor’s appointments – one with Dr. Korotkin on Friday and one with Dr. Nezhat on Monday. Friday is my last day at work until the middle of July. Monday night, I will be admitted to Northside Forsyth sometime after 6PM. And then, it’s just when Mr. Baby Jackson Man (Anne Marie’s nickname for him) wants to make his grand appearance.

It’s crazy to think that this time next week, I could be holding my baby. Or I could still be waiting. Or I could be in the middle of labor, screaming my head off.

Pity Party

Warning: This is my pity party. You are welcome to join or you can turn and leave now. You’re staying? Great, grab a coke and some popcorn. Here I go:

I am exhausted. I really feel like I haven’t slept in days even though I’ve been getting a lot of sleep at night. I normally go to bed about 10 and sleep until 6:30. Yes, I get up 15 times a night to go to the bathroom, but I practically sleepwalk (sleep-pee??) through that. I nap when I get home from work and even on my lunch break, but I just don’t feel rested. It’s a very different kind of tired from the 1st trimester, too. I was really tired then, too, but it was almost like a nourishing sleep every time I passed out on the sofa or spent the early afternoon taking a nap. Now, I sleep to try to survive the day.

This tiredness makes me cranky. I try really hard not to be, especially to Chris because he has so much to put with! (I'm know I'm not the easiest wifey around, but he knew that, too when he married me!) Unfortunately, he normally takes the most of it. He’s a Godsend – when he’s not annoying the hell out of me. And when he is annoying the hell out of my, I want to hit him with the remote. I’ve thought about it. Not gonna lie. I haven’t done it. Yet.

And on top of everything else, I’m sore, too. Sometimes, it’s painful to walk. Sometimes, it’s painful to lie down. Really, when you pregnant, you’re totally screwed because any way you sit, stand, or lay can hurt. I waddle, too. I didn’t think I did, but I’ve been told that I do. Fantastic.

I’m not saying it’s not worth it because it totally is…and I know once the baby gets here, I probably won’t get to catch up on my sleep too much, but I am looking forward to feeling like a normal person again. Normal people are sleep-deprived, but at least they don’t waddle and they don’t fantasize about breaking a remote over their husband’s ass (at least I didn’t do that before). Thank you for listening. Now please pass the Doritos.

The real deal

I had serious contractions last night. Four big ones about an hour to two hours apart. Holy crap. We're going to have a baby.

Not that I'm counting down or anything!

Three weeks, four days. That’s pretty much it. I hit 39 weeks in three weeks, four days. And let me tell you, I am ready. Well, maybe. I am really for HIM, but just not ready for labor part (although I’m slowly getting used to the idea). We had another appointment at the Perinatal Center today and Baby Jack weighs about 6lbs, 9oz and looks perfect! Although the weight is freaking me out a bit – that means he’ll be around an 8lb baby. Can I push out an 8 pounder? We’ll see!

Everything else is coming together quite nicely! We have all the baby gear ready to go. Most of Jack’s clothes are washed (all of his newborn stuff and some of his 0-3 month stuff) and the nursery is pretty much finished! We are still looking for the perfect glider, but that’s not an absolutely necessity, I don’t think. And we may find one in the next three weeks, four days.

Did I mention I have only three weeks, four days left?? :)

Cry Me A River

Last night, I cried, no BAWLED, just thinking about the book “I’ll Love You Forever”. I’m talking a full-on choking, sobbing, shoulders shaking crying fit. Let me reiterate – I didn’t have the book, I was just thinking about the book. Chris and I were talking about books for Jack’s library and I mentioned that one. Chris said he wasn’t familiar with it, so I started to tell him about it and I lost it. I think he was really confused on why I would want to add a book to Jack’s library that makes me cry like that.

Tonight, Chris was replacing a tree in our front yard with a new tree. He dug up the original tree, which had just started to get its spring leaves. He came inside to get the saw to cut the tree up to dispose of it. I burst into tears – I told him he couldn’t cut the tree up! It was just starting to live again! I asked him to plant it in the back yard and he told me the type of tree it is was too big for our back yard. I was literally just beside myself thinking of this tree and how made it through the cold winter months only to see the first days of spring and then die. The tree must be saved. Chris took the tree to his parents’ house and will plant it there tomorrow.

Hormones, anyone?

Changing my mind...

No, no, I'm not changing my mind about having a baby! I'm changing my mind about our stroller system and the type of bottles we are going to use...maybe. And, oh yeah, we're still looking for a pack and play.

My wonderful godmother Madeline sent us a check to pick out whatever type of stroller and car seat we wanted, so we researched and read up and we picked the Graco Quattro System. It had very good reviews and it is was pretty well priced. I wasn't crazy about the patterns available, but you don't pick a stroller and car seat because of how pretty they are. Well, last night, we're at Babies R Us (which, btw automatically becomes at least a 2 hour shopping trip every time you walk in the door when you are expecting) and I see this stroller system that I really like - the Safety 1st Aerolite LX. Things I like about it:

• The car seat has this new padding that is supposed to help reduce head injury in side impact car crashes.
• The car seat fits up to 35 lbs (the Graco is only up to 22). Having a child in a rear facing car seat longer helps keep them safer.
• The stroller is very easy to fold and lighter than the Graco.
• It's a nicer color than the Graco.

So now we're debating taking back the Graco. I've been reading lots of reviews on this system, but since it's newer, there aren't as many. It's just so hard when you're trying to pick the best for your baby.

Then there's the bottle debate. I had read a lot about Dr. Brown's, but now I'm also hearing a lot about Tommee Tippee, so I'm not sure which to go with. Again, Tommee Tippee's are newer (at least here in the States, it's the most popular bottle in the UK). I really like the design of the Tommee Tippees and, since I'm going to try to breastfeed, the nipple on the Tommee Tippee has much better reviews than the Dr. Brown for moms who nurse and use a bottle (less nipple confusion for the baby). Both are designed to reduce colic and gas, but Dr. Brown's have an extra piece, whereas Tommee Tippee's don't. Huh.

Our original pack and play model was discontinued and sold out before we could buy it (damn you Graco - that Bombay model was perfect!!!), so we are having trouble picking a new one. The other Graco patterns are just too busy for something we're going to have out in the living room constantly and the Carter's one that I liked, Chris vetoed.

So, in the next few weeks (days), we have decide on taking back the stroller, picking a bottle and a pack and play. Wish us luck!!! :)